Crooked Cedar Collective

Mom. Husband. Artist. Employee. Brother. Friend. Leader. Jokester. Athlete.

All of these labels are words that we give ourselves, or other people give us, to define us. It’s easy to label others because it puts them into categories, it helps you decide how to relate to them. If none of your labels match, you don’t have much in common. Right?
When we label ourselves, though, I believe we do it out of comfort. I am a mom. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am an artist. I am an employee. I am an athlete.
All of these words that we call ourselves, they give us comfort in the sense that they are our purpose. They are who we are.

But are they?

I can understand how it would be comforting to live within those words. To embody them. In moments of silence, when you have nothing to do, or no one around, to remind yourself that these are all of the things that you have to live for. I understand that. I’m right there with you.

I’m in a period of my life where these labels are being challenged – my biggest label: Mom. My kids are away for three weeks with their dad, and suddenly it feels like this giant space has opened up where the name “Mom” used to be.

So, what if we look at it a different way?

What if we take away the labels? What then are we left with?

I need to make a distinction here, labels and descriptive words are different things. The words we use to describe ourselves, such as loving, kind, happy, outgoing, angry, sad, jealous, greedy, etc, are not the same as our labels. In each of our individual labels, we might be different descriptions of ourselves. When you’re at work, it can be good to be assertive and a leader, but when you’re playing the role of student, it is more appropriate to listen and be led.

So, again, without these labels, who are we?

I put this question out on Instagram, and got a variety of answers from “light” to “my true self”, “a child of God born to create in his image”, and “I have no idea”.

I sat with this question in a journaling exercise, and immediately I was flooded with the affirmations that I have been telling myself for the past six months: I am enough, I am loved, I am beautiful, I am strong, I am smart. Affirmations that used to be uncomfortable to say to myself, but have now become so true. It was a beautiful moment, and I am so grateful to have had that experience.

But then, the bubble popped. I’m still describing something or someone. Who is it?

In stillness, in moments of silence (which we so rarely afford ourselves these days), with no one to answer to and nothing to do, who am I?

Take away the physical; the body, the parts of us that will decay with time, and what are we left with?

A soul. A light. Our true selves. Who we were meant to be. And in that moment, we are all the same.

All of the things that set us apart, that form biases and barriers, are taken away. We each have a soul, a light, a true self, that is existing, waiting to be recognized. Waiting to be acknowledged and loved.

When you picture yourself, what do you see? Does the picture you see make you happy, or cringe? When you picture yourself, are you picturing your physical self, along with your insecurities and labels that have been placed upon you? Or are you imagining your most beautiful soul, that was created with purpose, that was made without mistakes.

The way we imagine ourselves is such a huge part of our health. Mental, emotional, physical, spiritual. If we imagine an unhealthy version of ourselves, (whether it’s because it’s what we’ve been told, or what we tell ourselves) that is who we will be!

If instead, we allow ourselves to banish those ideas, those labels, those descriptions, and we welcome the beauty, the love, and the light that encompasses who we truly are, things will start to change. I promise you.

I can guarantee if a friend said to you “I’m ugly”, the first thing that you would do would be to jump right in and point out all the beauty that you see in the person that you have come to love. If your child told you that they think they’re stupid, you would give them so many reasons and ways in which they are brilliant. 

So why don’t we do that for ourselves? Why don’t we create this picture of who we want to be, and embody that?

Your soul, your light, your true self is not ugly, tired, lazy, angry, etc. These are the lies that have been fed to you. And unfortunately, they’re easy to believe because they start at an early age. Pulling yourself out of that trap and consistently telling yourself that you’re beautiful, smart and can accomplish anything that you set your mind to would be life-changing!

So. I’ll ask the question again:

Who am I?

When you remove it all, and strip everything away, we are the most perfect versions of ourselves. We are the most beautiful versions of ourselves. We are the most [insert next positive description here] versions of ourselves. And so on, and so on 🙂

It is the labels, the descriptions, and the lies that we tell ourselves that can take away from that true self. That light. The light that you were meant to be. And that you ARE!

So I challenge you to sit in stillness, and to feel that beauty. To quiet the hurtful thoughts, the painful thoughts, and to only let in the beauty and the light. To feel that warmth fill you up until it feels like it has to push out of you, until you glow.

It is hard work – in the beginning – but if you stick with it, it will become second nature, and then it will be who you are.